May 24, 2022
Human connection specialist Mark Groves once said, “Walls keep people out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.”
And as women, we’ve been taught to be flexible, malleable caretakers at a young age.
Drawing up walls was our way of setting up boundaries — to survive and protect ourselves from certain situations.
But keeping up those walls is pushing us away from that thriving life and flourishing relationship we desire.
Take them down. Do the inner work. Stay open and strong.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Identify your boundaries. Shift your mindset and treat boundaries as invitations for other people to come and engage with you in your world.
✔️ Take down walls. We draw up walls to survive and protect ourselves from certain situations. But keeping the walls up hinders us from the life we desire. Do the inner work. Stay open and strong.
✔️ Clear boundaries mean self-respect. Saying a “yes” you didn’t intend cuts through your integrity. Be direct and efficient in saying “yes” and “no” – the truest expression of self-love.
✔️ Boundaries need no explanation. Exercise that muscle to say “no.” Learn to sit with the urge to justify it. It doesn’t require a laundry list of reasons to be valid. Nor does it need to be understood by others.
✔️ Develop a clear “no” for a trustworthy “yes”. It’s hard for others to know how to act when they’re with you without firm boundaries. We want our loved ones to be comfortable, and they want to engage with us the right way.
✔️ Boundaries give space for self-love. It’s the fundamental expression of self-love. It’s a way to show others how to win with you as a door, not a wall.
And if someone can’t meet you there, they’re not your person.
✔️ Practice saying “yes” with more specificity. Just like ordering that perfect cup of coffee at a cafe, don’t be afraid to say what you want. Apply this in every aspect of your life – meeting with friends, work, and even in the bedroom. You have full control of experiencing what feels good to you.
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★★★ About Marie-Elizabeth Mali ★★★
Marie-Elizabeth is the founder of Relationship Alchemy, where she helps women leaders create loving and nourishing intimate relationships that support their work in the world.
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★ COACHING ★
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As a Relationship Alchemist,
two-time TEDx Speaker, and host of the Relationship Alchemy
podcast, Marie-Elizabeth Mali shows women leaders how to cultivate
deeper love and connection in their intimate relationships. Drawing
on her Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and over 20
years of working with clients, she teaches women how to show up as
authentic leaders in their relationships and work instead of
twisting themselves to fit in. Marie-Elizabeth’s work has been
featured in Thrive Global, SWAAY, and Forbes. She is also a member
of the Forbes Business Council, a published author with an MFA in
Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and an underwater photographer
who has a thing for sharks. Learn more at https://relationshipalchemy.com.