Jun 14, 2022
Most of us are not aware of being controlling.
We think that we’re doing it out of kindness, trying to help our partners. But in fact, we don’t realize that our actions come across to them as controlling.
So how do you begin to unpack that? And how do you stop it for good?
Relationship and intimacy expert Marla Mattenson is here to walk us through the ways to finally let go of control in our relationships.
Tune in to this episode: How To Let Go of Control in Relationship with Marla Mattenson.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Assume and be curious. Do you catch yourself irritated with your partner’s words or actions? Feeling resentful of them? You may be showing signs of being controlling. There’s nothing wrong with that. Give yourself space to learn and grow.
✔️ Ask for a redo. Your constant need for control makes you unconsciously think they’re in the wrong. Recreate the scenario with them when you both can be in your best selves. The goal is to come out of it with more love.
✔️ Become the vibration of worthiness. Knowing our worth makes admitting our flaws much easier. But most of us were raised by parents or caregivers who didn’t feel worthy. It's never too late to break the cycle.
✔️ Align yourself to the new definition of intimacy. It’s the ability to be unguarded and receptive at the same time in different aspects of your relationship. The idea is to lower your defenses, even if it feels scary, so you can increase your capacity to receive more than just your own way of being.
✔️ Every controlling expression has a reason. You shared a preference with your partner. You didn’t mean to sound controlling, but they felt it was.
Honor their feelings. If your partner is feeling it, it’s true.
✔️ Not everyone will enjoy your personal expression. Kindness can also mean setting firm boundaries. Some people may think that’s controlling, and that’s okay. This is your way of taking personal responsibility for your actions and choices.
Marla Mattenson is an internationally recognized expert working with thought leaders and their partners in love and business. Using her background in neuroscience and mathematics, Marla guides couples and individuals to uncover the hidden patterns in relationship and business to unlock passion, financial success, and unlimited joy. Over the course of her 20+ year career, Marla has helped thousands including Academy Award-winning actors, producers and directors, NBA players and coaches, Grammy Award-winning artists, and millionaire entrepreneurs. Marla’s advice has appeared in The New York Times, Forbes, Oprah, NBC, ABC, CBS, and Entrepreneur to name a few. She lives what she teaches with Julian Colker, her love, life, and business partner.
Website: https://theintimacyexperts.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theintimacyexperts
Instagram: https://instagram.com/theintimacyexperts
Free Gift:
The REDO:
https://theintimacyexpertsacademy.thinkific.com/pages/the-re-do
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★★★ About Marie-Elizabeth Mali ★★★
Marie-Elizabeth is the founder of Relationship Alchemy, where she helps women create loving and nourishing intimate relationships that support their work in the world.
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As a Relationship Transformation
Expert, two-time TEDx Speaker, and host of the Relationship Alchemy
podcast, Marie-Elizabeth Mali shows women how to cultivate deeper
love and connection in their intimate relationships. Drawing on her
Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and over 20 years
of working with clients, she teaches women how to show up as
authentic leaders in their relationships and work instead of
twisting themselves to fit in. Marie-Elizabeth’s work has been
featured in Thrive Global, SWAAY, and Forbes. She is also a member
of the Forbes Business Council, a published author with an MFA in
Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and an underwater photographer
who has a thing for sharks. Learn more at https://relationshipalchemy.com.