Dec 14, 2021
We need to change the narrative around what should happen when marriages end. In this episode, coach, speaker and author Susan Trumpler shares the trials and challenges of getting out of a 24-year marriage and how she made it possible to build a good relationship with her ex.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Susan shares her divorce story and how she managed the anger and challenging times for the first couple of years.
✔️ Why doesn't your relationship have to be a typical snipe at each other, "make them the enemy" kind of thing. So much generational and societal conditioning has contributed to this that it can become quite extraordinary to have the opposite experience.
✔️ Why doesn't she call him her ex-husband? Sarah shares, "that is so funny because, in the beginning, I did. I would refer to him as my ex-husband. But as the relationship grew back into a friendship, it felt disrespectful. It didn't feel like that word. When I would, we'd go somewhere, and I'd introduce him to someone. I didn't feel like that word represented our current relationship. I just started saying he was my wasband."
✔️ On why it's possible to be on good terms with your ex. "We didn't want to create that situation where our kids would say: 'Oh, I can't talk about Dad when I'm with Mom, and I can't talk about Mom when I'm at Dad's. Our relationship evolved into a place where we found a friendship again and could recreate our family unit. We spend all of our holidays together now."
✔️Change your mindset about marriage: it always takes two to have made it better. Susan reminds us that whatever the partner's behavior was, we have some ownership of the situation. It will take some time, but acceptance is needed to go from being wronged to acknowledging playing a part in what happened. "There's no benefit of holding on to that anger or holding on to blame. There's just no benefit."
✔️ Ultimately, you have to learn how to coach yourself. Identify what is the story and what is fact from the thoughts that you keep in your mind? The awareness of what's going on inside your mind is the total catalyst for you.
✔️ Susan is on a mission to stomp out the words "I hate sales" for women in business. "It's so funny how women entrepreneurs go into business so passionate about putting something out into the world, and then they find out, "Oh, no, I'm a salesperson". In her upcoming book, she teaches how to become someone who doesn't see sales as sleazy or pushy and embrace that it can be fun and an important profession of building connections.
Susan Trumpler, the founder of Unstoppable Women in Business, is an international speaker, coach, podcaster, and author of the upcoming book "Oh Shit, I'm in Sales" and "Entrepreneur's Guide to Making Sales Your BFF". She dedicates her time and efforts to eradicate the phrase "I hate sales" from the vocabulary of women business owners. The Success Collaborative - her flagship hybrid coaching program is her pride and joy. In the Collaborative, she focuses her time on co-creating customized Success Roadmaps for each member and then invites them into an intimate community of like-minded peers to implement their plans and watch their revenues soar.
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As a Relationship Alchemist, two-time TEDx Speaker, and host of the Relationship Alchemy podcast, Marie-Elizabeth Mali shows women leaders how to cultivate deeper love and connection in their intimate relationships. Drawing on her Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and over 20 years of working with clients, she teaches women how to show up as authentic leaders in their relationships and work instead of twisting themselves to fit in. Marie-Elizabeth’s work has been featured in Thrive Global, SWAAY, and Forbes. She is also a member of the Forbes Business Council, a published author with an MFA in Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and an underwater photographer who has a thing for sharks. Learn more at http://relationshipalchemy.com.