Nov 16, 2021
Do you find yourself complaining when your partner gets home too late every night from work? Or if they watch too much TV? What other aspects do you often fret or whine about?
In this episode, Learn how to Stop Complaining in Your Relationship and know what you can do to get you much better results and deepen your love and connection with your partner.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ When you have a complaint in your relationship, it's actually a veiled desire or unmet need. The key is to begin looking at the clues behind the complaint. What do you want or need that's not being met? It might be that you want to spend more time together. It might be that you want to feel like you're more of a priority.
✔️ If your partner is the one with more complaints, invite them to share their desire or unmet need with you when they complain to you. Doing so ultimately lifts and improve your relationship rather than the grumbling, resentments, distancing, and passive-aggressive little jabs and all the shenanigans we get into when we're not expressing what we want.
✔️ Respond positively when your loved one does something that feels good to you. If your partner says yes and follows through on giving you what you want — be grateful. Thank them, praise them, show up radiant and let them see how good it feels. Let them feel how much you enjoy it when they give it to you. In this way, it begins to create a positive feedback loop in their brain that spending time with you feels good and giving you what you want also feels good, and then they're more likely to do it next time.
✔️ When we're not really expressing what we want -- we're not getting what we want. Instead of leading with the complaint, which will usually make them get defensive and create more distance between you, let them know vulnerably and truthfully what you want instead. Leading with your desire in your relationship will elicit a much better response from your loved ones.
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★★★ About Marie-Elizabeth Mali ★★★
Marie-Elizabeth is the founder of Relationship Alchemy, where she helps people deepen the love and fulfillment in their personal relationships, so they can expand into the full and free expression of who they truly are.
★ FREE RESOURCES ★ What's Your Relationship Style? quiz: http://relationshipalchemyquiz.com
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As a Relationship Alchemist and two-time TEDx Speaker, Marie-Elizabeth Mali shows people how to cultivate deeper love and connection in their intimate relationships. Drawing on her Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and over 20 years of working with clients, she teaches women how to show up as authentic leaders in their relationships and work instead of twisting themselves to fit in. Marie-Elizabeth’s work has been featured in Thrive Global, SWAAY, and Forbes. Marie-Elizabeth is also a member of the Forbes Business Council, a published author with an MFA in Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and an underwater photographer who has a thing for sharks.